Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I'm not stupid. Just weak.

In November, a surprise landed on my doorstep. An H2O mop. Like the kind you see on t.v.. I had drooled over this mop for months. My Dad, over-indulgent as ever, bought it for me.
I loved it. It worked great. On the dreaded, but tolerated because we are poor, linoleum. On the carpet, stains came up like magic. Magic, people. Seriously. My kids could eat off the floor without me wondering what disease they would contract.
Then, it died. No heat. No steam. No magic. Damn.
I called the company and explained the situation. They said it sounded like the boiler died. Fine, whatever, just send me a new one. Need. Mop. Now.
I was too excited at the prospect of getting my mop back in working order to argue about the fact that I had to pay over $13 for a product that is under warranty. Why should I have to pay shipping and handling for your broken product? In an effort to be nice and maybe expedite the shipping of the new 'body' for my mop I let it go.
Monday, my new mop 'body' arrived. Yesterday the pup ate a marker and in the process turned the carpet red. Later he threw up red banana peels.
Definitely time for the magic mop.
I started taking apart the old mop so that I could attach the new body to the old handle and mop head. Much to my frustration the water tank would NOT fit on the new body.
I rarely loose it. I mean really loose it. After red carpet, red pup and red vomit and a magic mop that would NOT fit together. I lost it.
I called the company again. I was quickly in touch with a costumer service lady. She assured me that the water tanks were interchangeable. I assured her they were not. We went back and forth like this for an uncomfortable amount of time.
I finally said, "Look, I am not STUPID. I can attach a water tank to a mop. I can attach it to the old mop just fine. It will not fit on the new mop."(I was repeating this action, as if she could some how see me proving my point)
At this point she asked me to "Please Hold."
She came back and said that her supervisor said that she could send out a new tank. She added, "The tanks are interchangeable though."
I swear, I tried to shove the tank through the phone and up her nose. It wouldn't fit.
On my way home from the dentist last night, I called the hubby to say I was on my way. He said he had assembled my mop for me. ( I had not told him about my phone call)
In my defense, it was really hard for him to get the tank on. He had to force it. I still say, "Interchangeable, my ass."

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