Why I hate Thomas

I hate Thomas. I very rarely use the word hate. He makes me angry. I would like to slap the grin off that 'very useful engines' face and punch him in the nose so hard it makes his stupid eyes spin.
There(deep breath). I feel much better already. Sometimes I just need to get it all out.
Miles played with Thomas this morning before school. He hardly ever plays with Thomas anymore, but today for whatever reason, Thomas and a bunch of his equally irritating friends made their way downstairs. A train yard suddenly appeared between the living room and the kitchen. No one was allowed to touch them. Or walk near them. Or ask about them. Super.
The reasons I hate Thomas are several. Yes, he is annoying and teaches my son phrases like "oh, cinders and ashes", but the real reason I hate Thomas is more about how it makes Miles behave.
The first time I came to really realize that Miles was autistic was when I was watching him line up his trains. I knew without a doubt what the doctors refused to confirm. My kid was autistic. He would line them up and they had to be in a perfect order and of course no one was allowed within a several foot radius of the trains.
I have seen more melt-down, shit-fit, arm-flapping, shenanigans in reaction to some Thomas induced tragedy than any person should ever have to see in an entire life time.
I have put countless DVDs in the player trying to find the one with the 'boulder' while my son withers on the ground lost within himself.
I have dug through sandboxes at midnight because Miles realized that this Thomas by his bedside is not the one with the chipped paint on the corner. His favorite.
Somehow Thomas is linked to whatever it is that spurns Miles' 'autistic' behaviors. Any other toy he will happily share. Any other movie we can speak to him while he watches. Not Thomas. Thomas equals regression.
Miles loves Thomas. The love affair while still there, is fading. Thomas was also the first toy that Miles did any real pretend play with. Sometimes when someone falls, Miles will say, "luckily no one was hurt." (another Thomas phrase)
So, Thomas gets to stay. That doesn't mean I have to like him.