Amnesia

A few days ago, I was enjoying reading a post over at Paul Newman Shirt Days, when R.E.M's 'Night Swimming' started playing from the play list. (Thank you Christy)
When I heard the song, I felt like I was coming out of some sort of amnesiac episode. I recognized the song. Loved the voice. Then it hit me. I used to love R.E.M.. I still do.
I used to rock with them and dance around the house.
It was like a fog lifting from my brain. Other songs and artist I once enjoyed started popping into my head.
Sometimes, I feel like I have lost such a huge piece of myself over the years. My identity revolves more around who my kids are and what is happening in their lives than who I am and what is going on with me.
I suppose this is to be expected. To a point. After all, they are still young and at ages where everything they do filters back through me.
I wonder though, if this is how so many marriages crumble. Will we come out on the other side, after the kids are grown and gone, look at our spouse and say "Who the hell are you, and what did you do with that rock star I married?"
I hope not.
I have decided to reclaim some bits of me. Just for me.
I will work-out without guilt. I will read. I will listen to music. I will find myself again. I will merge my Mom-self with my lost identity. I hope it will make me more whole. I think my kids will enjoy seeing a little bit of the 'rock star' me. I know my husband will.

Just a note: I am in no way a capable 'Rock Star'. I can NOT sing and should probably keep my dance moves to myself. I love music though. Love the way it reminds me of people and good-times, and not so good-times. I think that remembering is important. I think that evolving without completely loosing yourself is important too.
I think now I will go and jam to some 'Ben Folds', while I fold the laundry. Merge, baby, merge.