Monday, February 1, 2010

Some things I have been thinking about

Just some highlights of what is causing the swirlyness in me head....

The teen aged developmentally delayed kiddo that I watch in the afternoon has hit puberty. He wants to do some things that he did not before. He wants 'privacy' for these activities, but will proceed regardless.
This is problematic for several reasons.
Umm, not in my house. Please.
I have three other kiddos that I watch, plus my three and I don't want to have to explain to them what he is wanting to do. Not yet.
He gets very angry when he is unable to do his business. He has gotten big and has several inches on me in height and outweighs me.
I am afraid it is time to find alternative care for him, but I do feel guilty because for years he has been welcome in my home and enjoyable to have around.
I am not sure how I am going to proceed.

I had a CT scan. I had my gallbladder out a little over a year ago. I felt great, until all the symptoms came back.
I put off going to the doctor, because I was worried.
The CT sucked. They could not get an IV in me. It took forever.
Now I am anxiously awaiting results.
I hate waiting.

I have been doubting my parenting skills lately. Mostly in the 'how am I dealing with autism' arena.
Do I do enough? Could I suck more at getting paperwork done? How much longer can I stand the crazy eye from the nurse when I explain that I do not under any circumstances want any more vaccines for my kids?

So I am doing what I do worst. Waiting and trying not to worry or over think.
What do you think?


  1. Re: boy you are watching. That would be too much for me. I can only sort of handle such things with my own kids. What does his mom/dad say? If you refer him to the bathroom, does he leave a mess? Take too long?

    Re: CT scan. I'm sorry. I hate waiting on things like that. When did they say they'd get you results?

    Re: your parenting. Obviously I can offer you endless sympathy about the paperwork, since that's why my boys are still unintelligible despite being referred for speech therapy 1.5 years ago. Stand your ground about the crazy eye from the nurse. You can do it. I don't think you suck. I think the extra effort of paperwork plus the extra effort of a child who requires extra effort, plus the general effort of everything else, is defeating. I wish you and me and Christy lived in the same town and we could have an evening together of filling out paperwork while drinking fruity drinks. A paperwork party might make things feel a lot better.

  2. Kim, I think that the boy would be too much for me, especially in light of the younger children. If you haven't already, it is time to tell his parents how you feel, I'm sure they will empathize with the situation you find yourself in...and they can start looking for alternative care. Not watching him does not mean you'll stop caring for him, just that it is time to stop taking care of him.

    On the parenting thing? Holla! I'm SO there.

    Let us know whne you get the results, okay? Will send positive vibes your way.

  3. Oh, poor you with the gall bladder symptoms. When I had mine removed my surgeon told me 20% of patients still have symptoms... ouch!

  4. Mine's full of stones but, knock on wood, I haven't had any attacks in a long time. I hate to get IV's. And if it's any consolation, most of the nurses hate the gouging too. I think questioning and reevaluating your parenting method is a very responsible thing to do. Seems almost like good parenting to me...

  5. What I think is that I am praying and sending lots of love and hope your way. Hang in there.

  6. You are a great parent. All of us suck at some things sometimes, even one thing all the time. Don't beat yourself up! And, as for the young man: It's okay to say no. It hurts a lot less than the possible consequences. Unless, the bathroom trick works;) I'll keep your health in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck with it all! xoxo