Since I no longer have the ability to form full thoughts these days, I have some random tidbits to share with the world.
First, get this. My hubby was working last night. Limo run. He called me and told me that his party had tipped him, wait for it, $600.
That's what I said too!
I am starting to wonder if he is offering 'other' services on the side. Hey, if it puts groceries in the fridge.....
The same party booked him for tonight. (should I be worried) They are going to the movies and then 'out'.
Do you remember when you used to go 'out'? You would be leaving and your parents would be going to bed? Crazy.
Speaking of parents... Have I ever mentioned how dysfunctional my family is?
Probably not. We are so dysfunctional that I tend to keep it on the down-low as to not scare away potential friends.
We are crazy, but we love each other. I could do just about anything and my family would be like, "That's nothing. Remember that time when....."
So I was at the mall with my Mom, my Aunt (my Mom's twin) and my Sister. My Sister confessed a big secret over flavored lemonade while we lounged the food court.
My Sister, who is 11 years my junior is dating someone 10 years older than myself. He is going through a divorce, has kids and, best part, it's her boss.
Being as we are, we decided to talk it out right there in the food court, amongst the scantly clad teenage girls and the pimply faced boys checking them out.
At one point my Mom made some reference to having been with a man that had brought out the worst in her.
This caused me to bust out in uncontrolled laughter. I didn't mean to, it just hit me funny. Probably because she has been married many, many, many times. Each husband, save for my Dad, almost worse than the last.
My attempts to hide my laughter were feeble and my Mom started to cry. My Aunt, I swear because they are twins and that is how it works, started to cry too.
It only made me laugh harder.
My sister, who may be the most sane of all of us, could only shake her head.
We regained control shortly thereafter, and gave my Sister some 'sound' advice.
Then we threatened to show up at her work often and with my kids, if she doesn't at least consider our advice. That's just how we roll.
Anyway, if you happened to be at the mall and saw a group of women laughing and crying like ninnies....yep, totally me and my Family.
A Rather Anticlimactic Reveal
4 months ago
SWEET! First of all, this story makes me like your mom even more, and I always thought she was cool. Second, in my head your sister is about the age of my sons.
ReplyDeleteThird, for a while in my 20s I dated a guy 17 years older than me, who was twice divorced, and had two children. His kids were only 10 years younger than me. One time when we were all at Blockbuster video together, one of his neighbors came in and started chatting and referred to me as though I was the son's girlfriend. Anyhoo, he was also my boss, and during the course of our relationship he got promoted to president of the company I worked for. The fact that we were dating was Top Secret.
It didn't end well, of course. He was a chronic cheater, and after he eventually cheated on me with several coworkers and one of my friends, we broke up. Then it was too painful to see/hear him at work every day, and I quit my job. It was a good job. Had I not started dating him, my career would have been a lot more fun and exciting.
Anyway, that is my story for your sister. Not that she would listen -- I sure didn't when I was her age!!
Hi, I'm the one who married the older boss with two children. Perhaps you could tell your sister that someone who has a decade and a half down with that scenario says, "run like hell."
ReplyDeleteStopping back by to say 'hi' and that your bloggy pals miss ya. Hope you guys are having lots of summer fun!
ReplyDeleteSeriously! Come on, just make something up! Make the kids each draw a picture of you, then scan them in. Post a recipe. Tell us how you are spending the cash your husband makes as an escort. I mean, "limo driver."
ReplyDeleteI have come back to read this many times. It just makes me laugh. Is that bad? I don't know, just picturing you laughing while everyone is crying... its such a funny picture to me!
ReplyDelete